Peace, Acceptance and Forgiveness are just a few words I have finally learned
after almost 14 years of tears, heartbreak and anger.
Somehow I had the privilege of being a backup dancer in my early twenties. One of my favorite memories I can remember quite vividly. On my 22nd birthday on stage in Las Vegas, with my friends around me and the crowd wishing me a happy birthday. I got to travel the world, met amazing people/celebrities and most importantly do something I loved so much. I was making a ton of money and living life like there was no tomorrow. It was the absolute best times and years of my life.
Unfortunately I was in my early twenties and we all know that those times are fun but they are not smart. And just like that, one bad decision lead to many more and I veered so far off to the left I was off course. I was not dancing, lost my best friends, ruined my career and tarnished my reputation. With nothing left but to move back home and I’m sure you can image what an adjustment that was.
I lived a very sad life for a while. So angry, bitter, jealous and stuck in my feelings. I could not move, let alone move forward with my life. Spending years trying to fill that void I felt from tour. Friends, men, material things, food but the most detrimental was my jobs. I would jump from job to job, feeling unfulfilled, hoping and wishing something great would come along. Not noticing I had everything I needed and wanted.
I am most thankful for God not giving up on me, continuing to guide me, and test me until I passed. He has taken me to a place where I am completely satisfied in Him. My relationships may not be reconciled but I recently had the courage to ask for forgiveness for my wrongdoings. I might not have the highest paying job but it is right where I need to be. I don’t get to dance and travel the world but I get to share my life with an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter.
After all these years I finally understand that my purpose was to follow my dreams. I set a goal and accomplished it. A valuable lesson I can teach my daughter. It’s a beautiful thing to be at peace with my past. A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I wish it didn’t take as long as it did but it was all apart of my journey to get to this destination.
Is there anything you need to let go of? Anyone you need to forgive? Go ahead and do it. In the end its not about that thing or person, it is about you and your growth. Forgive and find peace! It’s almost a new year; don’t wait any longer.
Want to see Nicole on stage with JT? Check it out HERE!